I now have a complete first draft of a script with a complete set of settings, stage directions, characters and SONGS! Woooohooo! Pinch me!

I guess last April, as the final rousing notes of Rent filled the air and I had the thought, “6 weeks alone in a van – that’s what I need to finish this thing”, was right!

I don’t know how to describe the level of satisfaction of actually creating this thing, just on paper, after so many years, but it’s a lot.

There is a ton of work left ahead to create instrumental arrangements and a ridiculous amount of work ahead to bring this thing to life on the stage – not to mention the work, synchronicity, luck and, of course, piles of cash to get it all the way to Broadway (hey, a girl can dream!), but a complete first draft of Janey’s War is now in existence. If nothing else happens with it, I am satisfied. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop, but I do feel a deep sense of peace with the whole venture – after 25 years of having this thing in my head, it exists now, in a concrete way.

And, I don’t know if it will succeed to elicit the feelings, enjoyment and experiences that I would hope for it to bring forth for an audience, but I know I’m proud of it. I read it and I think, yup, that’s the musical I was trying to write.

It is definitely not 100% there, just as any first draft needs editing, revision, refinement and polishing, this does, but it is complete as a first draft, and for me, for now, that is enough to revel in.

Some of you are already familiar with my “3 Stage” musical writing plan and where this puts me in such a plan. Also, those of you who know me know that everything I do is in stages or phases, so, of course I have a 3-Stage Musical Writing Plan. As a refresher, the three stages are:

Stage 1: Creativity – Do the creative dump. Get the musical that is in my head and all the creative ideas out onto paper into one complete form.

Stage 2: Accuracy – Do the research of history to make sure that the story that I’m telling is effective from a perspective of accuracy. Plot wise – is it consistent and conceivable? History wise – is it accurate in the details and how they fit together? Character wise – are these believable characters to the time using language that people would use telling a story that resonates for that time? Story wise – does this tell a story that really reflects the people and the times they are meant to tell a story about and for? In the words of the all-mighty Mona Lisa Vito “Does the defense’s case hold watah?” (This stage is one of the many projects I intend to do during our 50 States Tour next year)

Stage 3: Artistry – Do the research and the refinement to make this a good piece of art. What makes a great musical? What makes a tight musical? An effective one? How does the story flow? How is the timing? The pacing? The musical composition? How does the dialogue flow? Where is there fat to trim? How much will it cost to produce? Is there unnecessary cost? What is necessary to refine to make this a great musical? A great piece of art? (This stage I hopefully will be doing during a month long stay in NYC in, well, at this point, January of 2025)

Then of course, there is a Stage 4: Production – Get this baby up and running!

Of course, stage 4 will require all sorts of preparations and research that will happen concurrently during Stages 2 and 3, but, my goal is to have this thing on a stage by the Fall of 2025. I am very aware that that is too late to hope to have many, if any living veterans able to see it in its full form. My hope is, over the next year that I can do a couple of workshops, hopefully to those that were alive during this time, whether veterans or folks on the homefront. We shall see what I am able to pull off.

So, this 6 weeks alone in a van trip was stage 1 – just get the story that’s in me out of me onto paper for the dialogue and the music in its most basic form. That is done! Wow! Even if I get no further, I am deeply satisfied with this accomplishment. I AM going to go further, but it will all be cherries on top of an already scrumptious Sundae.

And, when I say, “done”, really it’s almost done. I have one more week of the van trip and one more goal to accomplish – that is the musical compositions. Almost all the songs have a melody and a very basic piano composition – some I have not yet finished the basic piano composition, but they all have a complete set of lyrics and melody. This next week, I will finish the basic piano composition for all the songs and at least an outline of their larger instrumentation and also write the instrumental sections that some songs have – though, if that ends up being part of the next stages, that is fine too.

Also, this next week, I will go through all my notes from over the years, seeing if there are any straggling pieces that didn’t make it into the show that need to and also do a few rounds of editing and tweaking of the first draft, making it a second or third draft by the time this trip is done. Really, everything I am doing in this next week will ultimately extend into future stages because I have lots of skills to study and develop to really be able to do them well, seeing as I’ve never composed music for trumpet or string instruments before. I imagine it is just notes like any other music, but I’ll want to study a bit about it and there are definitely technical programs I need to learn how to use in more detail for putting it all together, and that will take time beyond this trip. I can already hear all the instrumentation in my head when I sing the songs, I just need to get it out of my head onto paper – so it still is very much part of stage 1.

As for this week in terms of van life – it’s been a great week in the van. I continue to love van life and life on the road.

I started the week out celebrating my accomplishment of a completed script with a batch of banana pumpkin pancakes using the pancake mix that my friend, Erica, gave me as a musical trip going away present. Thanks, Erica! Deelish!

On my trip, I’ve already ended up in Normandy twice!

Something about having my goal for the week be “finishing the songs” made my brain say “4AM!” I have woken up near every day at 4 AM without any option for going back to sleep. It became so consistent that, eventually, I decided to start getting in bed by 7:45 in the hopes of being able to get a full night sleep – which worked. The only day I managed to sleep until 6AM was Thursday night, after a day of feeling very frustrated with my last two songs to complete, and a bit in that, “oh well, I guess I better just surrender and let go of accomplishing my goal“ mindset. Having let go of the goal to finish by today, I seemed to allow myself to sleep into a regular time. What I don’t understand is why I am up at 4AM today after finishing all the songs, but here I am! Probably because it’s blog writing day and that seems to get me all amped up every week when it rolls around.

So, coming into this week I had 7 songs that were complete in lyrics and melody and I had in front of me a list of 13 songs to have complete in total. For those math aces out there, that meant 6 songs to complete between Sunday and Friday. Then, as the week progressed, while going through my notes and voice recordings from over the years, I had a number of other songs that had come up that were vying for a spot in the show – one of which just absolutely would not quit showing up in my head and insisting that it get in. This was another one of those songs that came out of my head almost completely fully formed in melody and the lyrics half-way done, so I decided to put it in the show! This actually presented a bit of an issue for me as this made it three light-hearted, fun songs in a row and I was concerned that it messed up the flow of the show – but I just liked it so much. I decided that there were enough scenes in between the songs to balance it out, but I look forward to seeing how it plays in front of an audience to get a sense of if it can stay or not. I sang it for Ryan and my friend, Kerry, my theater buddy, and they both gave it the thumbs up as a fun song, so, we shall see.

So, the new song brought the total to 7 songs to complete between Sunday and Monday – all of which had some foundation coming into the week, whether it be litanies of potential verses for lyrics already written, a basic chord progression to build the song around already in place, or a melody already there. So there were no songs that I needed to start from total scratch, which was good. Still, I came into the week, intimidated.

I don’t know what it is about 4AM, but apparently, that’s when I am able to tackle such intimidation. Day after day, I woke up before the roosters at whatever farm I was staying at (or song birds at the campsites) and put the keyboard on the bed and got to work – Ryan usually got a call at 6:30 or 7AM “Wanna hear my new song?!” I started the week out with the less intimidating ones – the ones where the essence of the song was already clear, the basic melody there and all that was needed was a few more lyrics and a tightening of the song structure. I started with “It’s So Quiet Now” – which was basically an already complete song with a melody, a song structure and lyrics – I just needed a basic piano composition and a little tightening up. It is only occurring to me now that, while I did create an entire piano arrangement that I really loved – I’m not sure that I wrote it down, which would be unfortunate…but, fingers crossed that either I remember it or it is pretty simple to work it out again, which I am oddly confident it will be. A lot of times with these songs, I find that I just have a muscle memory and a visual memory of the arrangement. Yikes, here’s to hoping. Here’s the beach I found to work on while I watched the show “Medals of Honor” on Netflix while I composed – a show I highly recommend, especially if you are a fan of superhero’s, because these are the real thing. Each one of these stories of actual men in real situations displaying levels of heroism that are beyond description. Truly inspiring.

Then, the next day, I got to work on one of the really fun songs, “It’ll Never Happen”…and it DID happen! It just came together. I am not fully satisfied with the song structure and some aspects of the tune at different points, but there is one, and that’s all that is necessary for a “first draft”. I LOVE how the lyrics turned out and it even developed in a way that I didn’t at all see coming. Then, in the middle of working on “It’ll Never Happen” that new song snuck it’s way in and I just couldn’t resist. It was one of the quickest ones to write and it turned out to be a really fun song – and the first solo song for the character, Marla. This was exciting and also not so exciting. I always have dreamed that in the first production of Janey’s War, I would play a character and I always cast myself as Marla – more than anything, because she didn’t have any big songs that were more than I could tackle with my modest capabilities as a singer. And then I went ahead and wrote this song, and wrote myself right out of a part. I soon realized the part was never mine anyways, when it occurred to me that Marla is 18-21 in the show. Now, sure, when I STARTED writing this show, I was 19 and a ringer for the part! Now, I realized, I would need to play one of the mothers in the show or a townswoman. I can definitely pass as younger than I am (the kids that live here at the Harvest Host where I’m staying right now guessed me as 24, what lovely children indeed), but I think, at this point, even that is a stretch. So, despite it knocking me out of my preferred part, the song can stay in the show. I can sing almost all of the song, accept the last few notes. My friend, Kerry suggested, why don’t you cut those notes out? But they make the whole song – can’t do it. Marla now must be cast as a badass singer with a solid big range.

As the week progressed, I found myself left with the songs that intimidated me most – “War is Hell” sung by the soldiers after battle and on their way home from war, “Generations” sung by Gigi to Hayley in the second to last scene and, of course, gulp, the finale. The easy part of the finale is, it’s the same tune as the opening song, so that part is covered, but the lyrics – the lyrics needed to be just right and I felt all week like the needle was too small to thread and I just didn’t see it yet. When it came time to edit the lyrics for “War is Hell” (I had enough verses written for a 10 minute song!) and create it’s structure and melody, thank goodness, it just kinda happened. I played it for Ryan and he got choked up! That’s the sign that I’m on track. I played it for my friend, Kerry, she didn’t get choked up and thought it might still be a bit too long, but we both agreed that with the staging, the different voicing and the full orchestration that it’s length could be just fine. Then came, “Generations” – this one is the first time in all of this musical writing that it didn’t just flow. The song that I sang to Ryan was barely stitched together and it was the first one that he was not crazy about. In his words, “not blown away”. This is why he is handy to have around, he only speaks the truth. It, of course is not the preferred truth, but I prefer the truth nonetheless. It just didn’t pack the wallop that it needed to for that point in the play. This was the first time in all of my experience of writing this musical where I didn’t find the thing writing itself, which, Ryan pointed out to me in an encouraging pep talk, was actually pretty amazing. Counterpoint, the way of getting that, “fully formed” experience of writing was letting it cook for 25 years, but still, point taken, it’s a pretty special thing that the writing has happened in this way, without laboriousness or struggle…until now. This was Thursday morning and, the entire ending of the musical resting on the success of this song, I was definitely a bit confounded. I talked it through with Ryan and shortened the song significantly and then spent the day listening to great musical numbers seeking inspiration. I played around with a few other melodies and ultimately decided, okay, I DO have a first draft melody – it’s just not all the way there yet, but it is a first draft and that’s all I was trying to get to on this journey. It’s not great, it doesn’t pack the wallop that it needs to eventually, but it’s still a fully written first draft, for the purposes of this trip, getting what was in my head out, I am going to consider the song “done” for now. Not as satisfying as Marla’s song that just came out ready to roll, but an important part of the process nonetheless. My experience in writing this is, if I just take each step as far as I can take it and then sit with it, marinating in the next problem to solve, eventually the answer presents itself. So, while I am not satisfied musically with the song compared to where I know it needs to be to carry the weight of it’s intended purpose, it’s a start. But I did get the structure and how it fits in and works with the scene to a pretty solid place. And the lyrics are tight. It’s just missing that X factor. I trust it will come as the process shakes out.

That left me with only the finale. It took a couple of days for me even to find the right title to the song earlier in the week. It is a mirror to the opening song of the play, “Don’t You Know There’s a War On”, but the message of it needed to be just right. I tried a lot of different titles for the finale, “We Don’t Need No More War On” – too preachy. “Don’t You Know There’s No War On” – too judgy…then I found it, “Now That There’s No More War On”…that opened up the room for the song to say what I wanted it to say – just an open door to talk about the future. And, even though I went to bed Thursday having “let go of my goal” to finish this week having completed all the songs, I woke up Friday and wrote the lyrics. At first, I thought I had a repeat of the “Generations” experience, but the more I read them through, the more I realized, oh my gosh, I think this is it! I think I got it! I called Ryan and sang it for him and he agreed, all but one verse that was just too on the nose, the words weren’t quite right – which I totally agreed. We spent 20 minutes going back and forth and trying out new words until, boom, we found a line and I went, “whoa – I felt that”, and then the next line and he said, “yea, that speaks to how I feel”…that’s how you know you made it, when you actually FEEL something. I love that. There is no right or wrong in a creative act, yet there is this internal guide I feel when writing this, like it’s already written on the inside and when I find the “right” words, there is this feeling of click like, yea, that’s it. And, thanks to Ryan, that verse finally got there and the final song was complete!

I almost couldn’t believe it. Though there is still plenty of room for editing and developing, I did get them all done by Friday! Not all with their basic piano compositions -but lyrics, song structure, melody for all 14 songs in the show, complete!! Whoa!

Now, any of you who know me will absolutely know that somewhere in here, there is a spreadsheet at play, actually a colorful spreadsheet. I love me some colorful spreadsheets. If I could have married a colorful spreadsheet, I would. Actually, I think I kinda did. Actually, if you could make a colorful spreadsheet into a human man, it would be my husband, so, yea, I checked that box. (See what I did there?) So, my song spreadsheet at the beginning of the week was largely unchecked boxes. And here it is as of today. Look at all those newly checked boxes. So very satisfying.

As for my travels, I barely remember the week, but it was lovely. I started off the week in Florida, hitting a couple family farms through Harvest Host, up through Jacksonville.

and then I made my way to Crooked River State Park in Georgia. I lucked out and happened to have a site looking right at that Crooked River.

It was the first place I would be staying for more than one night since my trip had begun and it felt like a total luxury to have a full day in one place without needing to pack up and move. It also happened to be a chilly night in the 40s and my heater broke! Another fun van adventure. The morning that I was writing “It’ll Never Happen” my fingers were almost numb and I could see my breath in the air! I did some phone research to find someone that could fix the heater and this led to a fun little adventure in itself. I first called a mobile RV service and spoke with a lovely gentleman that got right into recommending beautiful places to visit and gave me the recommendation to visit Jekyl Island and I went right away and made that my campground for the following night. This gentleman was 100% right, it was gorgeous! And, since he texted me some information, he got my auto text that includes a link to this blog and he said that he read my blog and was totally inspired by it – which was super fun. Chris, if you are still following along, thanks for the tip, Jekyl Island WAS beautiful!

The campsite host came up and asked me where in NY I was from and it turns out she was ANOTHER Buffalonian! That is my third on the trip so far. Three Buffalonians and one Canandaiguan…home has never been too far away! Although Chris wasn’t familiar with the type of heater in the van, I called the company and found the local dealers who were and made my appointment for December 1st – I figured I could handle one or two cold-nosed nights in the van. After using the oven to cook dinner that heated up the van pretty well, I went to sleep that night warm enough. The next day, I drove to St. Simons Island, Georgia, which reminded me of lots of other small, quaint towns I’ve been in that have a personality deeply connected to their natural setting, like a Cape Cod or a Lake Placid, where all the buildings are in lock step with each other expressing the local style. It was a beautiful little town. I made my way to the Coast Guard site of the World War II Homefront Museum.

Although it was a much smaller undertaking than the National World War II Museum in New Orleans, the exhibits were every bit as high quality and it definitely added new insight and education to my understanding of the war, and specifically how it impacted this small town in coastal Georgia.

I learned that the Battle of the Atlantic was the longest battle in the war (the battle between the U-Boats and the cargo ships) lasting all the way from 1939 before the U.S. got into the war until 1943 and that the way they eventually overcame the U-Boats was with a fleet of blimps that would escort the cargo ships and give intelligence about the locations of the subs so they could be attacked and destroyed.

I stayed over night at a campground on Jekyl Island and the woman at the check-in gate asked, “Where are you from in NY?” After I said Rochester, she said, I’m from Honeyoye Falls! She still lives there, just winters in gorgeous Jekyl Island. After spending a day there I can see why. The next morning, I left the campsite and went for a run along the beach and it was stunning.

Then I made my way to Thermo King in Savannah, Georgia and Johnny and the team there were fantastic! Within a few hours, the heater was all fixed and ready to go and I learned a valuable, expensive and obvious lesson – don’t put things in the well of the passenger seat while the heater is on, because that is where the heater is drawing it’s air from and it is blocking it and causing it to overheat, which is what I did and how it broke. That said, I’m really glad it happened on this trip when the stakes were very low, the nights were not that cold and there was a nearby person to fix it so that I now know that. Even though it seems obvious, I would never have guessed it and would have messed it up eventually – this was definitely the lowest stakes way to discover that. It all went very smoothly.

Then I made my way to a lovely vegetable farm here in South Carolina just off of I-95 somewhere a bit north and west of Charleston. What a lovely host. I was greeted by a mom and her two kids. They had made a fire for us to enjoy and these two kids were as adorable and engaging as any I have ever met. Also, remember, they both thought I was 24, so, yea, I like these kids.

I have met so many lovely, kind and helpful people along this journey and it’s been a delight, one after the other. I have seen so many beautiful places and I have enjoyed every minute of it. And somewhere along that journey, I wrote myself a musical. Wow. I ran into my first real creative hurdle this week, and got through it and I accomplished something I never quite thought I would. What comes to mind as a closer this week is a poem I wrote when I was 15 that has always stuck in my head.

Follow your dreams
Through the sleet and the snow.
Stay behind, close behind,
Don’t let them go.

Follow your dreams,
And never lose sight.
Dreams can be reached,
If you follow them right.

If someone says, “Yeah, right,
You won’t reach that goal.”
Just say, “See if I thank you,
For my Oscar-winning role.”

Follow your dreams,
Don’t be led askew.
You’ve GOT to follow your dreams,
’Cause they’re not gonna follow you.